Homemaker Portrait | Jayms Yon

Today, I am bringing you a conversation with a young woman who is practicing homemaking in South Africa. After meeting her now husband online in 2020 and developing a relationship long-distance for several years, Jayms left everything she knew in America to be nearer to David in his homeland. She tells about her experience living in a special home for single women for a couple of years and her recent entrance into married life. She loves sharing how homemaking is different in South Africa and why that is not a bad thing, but rather an opportunity to grow in hospitality and Christ-like servanthood. 

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Allison 0:02

Hello, homemakers, and welcome to the Art of Home Podcast, where we are exploring how homemakers cultivate a place to belong. I'm your host, Alison Weeks. I'm a wife, a mom, a granny, and I have been practicing the Art of Home since 1992. Welcome to all of you listeners. If you are brand new here, I'm so glad that you found the show. Um let me know by sending me a text using the little link that's down in the description box. How did you find the art of home? Was it a search? Did someone send you an episode? Did you just stumble upon it one day? I love to find out how people find the show. If you have been showing up here for the last five years or somewhere in the middle there, um, thank you. Thank you for continuing to come back week after week and listen to these stories of home from these women. I'm so honored that all of you are going to trust me with some of your very valuable time today. We're gonna hear a brand new homemaker portrait, but before we get to that, I have some updates for you. This is the part of the show where I tell you fun and exciting news about the Art of Home podcast and or what is happening in my own homemaking, such as products that I'm loving or projects that I'm working on. This update is brought to you by listeners who support the Art of Home through Buy Me a Coffee. Buy Me a Coffee is a virtual tip jar where you can show your appreciation and support for the show by giving a one-time tip or by becoming a Titus 2 Woman supporter and setting up a recurring tip of $5 per month. Titus2 Women supporters receive my undying gratitude and the occasional perk, such as a discount on our magazine, Homemaker's Journal, and free registration for the recipe exchange and other fun things. Whichever way you choose to give, I'm grateful for your support. In my own homemaking, well, um, I shared a good bit about what I'm cooking and working on in last week's episode, The Spring Ramble with Jessica Fisher, so be sure to go check that out if you haven't yet. But besides all of that, this is the year of decluttering for me. I'm not becoming a minimalist, never fear, but I am purposing to get after the closets, the attic, and other storage areas that have collected a lot of miscellaneous items over the years. I've said before, this is the longest we've ever lived in one house since we were married. This summer will mark 13 years. In the past, a job relocation would force the decluttering as we prepared to move. But staying so long in one house, well, it's just been too easy to let things pile up in those out of sight spaces. But even though they are out of sight, they are not out of mind. And the clutter that I know is lurking there, it adds unwanted mental clutter. So it's time to deal with it, but one step at a time. Um, I also got to do some travel trailer homemaking last week. We took our first uh RV trip of the year to the Texas coast. Every time we live in the RV for more than a couple of days, I am struck by how much liberty I feel in the simplicity of homemaking in such a small space with minimal tools, which really helps me when I come back home and it's time to declutter another storage area. In podcast news, I have to ask for your patience just a little bit longer on the magazine. I intended to launch this Friday, May 1st, but I've run into a few printing snags. And once those are ironed out, then we will launch and you will be able to get your hands on either a digital copy or a print copy, or both, of the first issue of Homemaker's Journal. I can't wait to get this beautiful resource into your hands. And don't worry, even though it is a spring-summer issue, it's meant to be evergreen content that you can refer back to and find inspiration from whenever you read it. In other podcast news, I will be opening up applications and nominations very soon for the summer season. I hope that you will consider applying to be a guest and that you will also nominate someone, your mom, your sister, your neighbor, BFF. So be thinking about who you would like to nominate and whether or not you will apply yourself. All the news about the magazine launch and guest applications opening up will go out to the Art of Home email list first. So be sure to subscribe to our list by using the link below or over at theartofhomepodcast.com slash subscribe. Now on to today's interview. He is from South Africa, she is from the States, and you will get to hear their love story, how they met, and how she ended up in South Africa. James loves her new homeland and she enthusiastically shares the uniqueness of living and homemaking in South Africa. We cover all the usual ground of wins, fails, expectations, hospitality, and more. Again, thank you so much for trusting me with some of your time. I pray that it proves fruitful for you. I'll be back at the end with some closing thoughts, the emoji code for this episode, and a few reminders. Whatever you are applying your hands to as you listen today, I know you will enjoy James's story of home. Welcome to the Art of Home. I am here with brand new homemaker James Yan. And she is joining me today from South Africa. So I'm very excited to have our first South African here on the show. Um, our first person from the continent of Africa, actually. So uh before we get into the background um of James' story and just how she got to South Africa and all of that interesting information, why don't you just say hey to everybody, James? Tell us a little bit about who you are today.

SPEAKER_01 6:29

Um awesome. Yeah, thank you, Allison. Um, as you said, my name is James Yan. Um, and so I've actually only lived in South Africa for three years. I'm originally from Indianapolis, Indiana. Um, and I got married four months ago to my husband, David, um, and he is a medical student. Um, as a profession, I am an English teacher. I teach English as a foreign language online. So my job is pretty unique because I actually talk to people internationally like all day. Um, and so I've taught at least to 30 different countries, 100 different students at least. Um, so it's it's a really fun and unique job. Um, and then as fact or as far as um just like my hobbies right now, um, I'm really into reading and I love sewing. And I recently picked up playing the bass guitar and I'm hoping to join my um my church worship band. So yeah.

Allison 7:32

Oh, that's so fun. Okay. Um we have lots of guitars here. I I don't know if I've I probably have talked about that before. We we everybody plays guitar, um, except my except my daughter, but all of I play a little bit, my my husband plays and and all the boys play. A couple of them play bass, but most everybody plays um acoustic guitar and electric guitar. Okay. So why did you choose the bass? Why the bass? Because they let me guess, is it because their worship teams always need bass players?

SPEAKER_01 8:03

That that kind of is a part of the reason for sure, but also um I've learned that bass guitar is actually the easiest to pick up. So, like with acoustic guitar and electric guitar, it takes a lot to get to a place where you can um perform with other people. Um, but I literally had my bass guitar for two or three weeks maximum. And I I didn't like officially play with the band like um where people could hear me, but I played like unplugged so I could practice and did it went well. So I think that's the main reason. It's just fun. Um yeah.

Allison 8:42

Awesome. That's so fun. And then you enjoy reading and sewing. Okay, so uh what kind what are you sewing? Are you making clothes? Are you making stuff for your house? What are you sewing?

SPEAKER_01 8:53

Yeah, so I mainly love to make clothes. Um, I uh I think it was last year. Um, it was when I mainly got into sewing at first. Um, and it was the year that my husband and I were getting married. Um, we got married in November. So my way that I was gonna try to like save money for the year was like buy no clothes. And so I told myself if I wanted new clothes, I had to make it myself. So um that's kind of how I kickstarted that. Um, and yeah, I've made like four or five dresses and then a couple of tops and nothing crazy. Um, I think my my favorite thing to do is actually take things that I already owned and like maybe don't wear very much and like turn it into something else. So I've turned many dresses into like pajama sets, or I've turned many dresses into tops. It feels like you have a new piece of clothing. It's so fun.

Allison 9:50

Yes, that is such a good skill to have too. I mean, are you following a pattern or are you just figuring it out on your own?

SPEAKER_01 9:57

Um, honestly, most of the time I am figuring it out on my own, but I love doing that. But at the same time, I've learned my lessons for sure. I think you learn a little bit quicker when you do that because you mess up so much.

Allison 10:13

That's very true. That's very true. Yes. Oh, that's so good. Just be brave and try things like that. I love it. I love it. Okay, we're gonna talk. I'm I'm we're gonna hear about your move to South Africa and all that, I'm sure, as we go through. Um, but let's go, let's start at the beginning of your story. When did you first become a homemaker? And did you bring any skills with you into that role?

SPEAKER_01 10:39

So I would say I would have started to consider myself a homemaker actually two years ago, even though I only got married four months ago. Um, this is because I yeah, I it was so cool. There was one day that I was just sitting with the Lord and having quiet time. I was just like so confused about like my purpose and just like what God wanted me to do with my life. And I remember like just opening up my Bible and I don't remember if he like I don't remember exactly how I got to this scripture, but um, he led me to Romans 12, 10 through 18. Um, if you want, I can read it. But it's basically okay. I am just summarize it. Yeah. Yeah. Or I don't know if I can summarize it, but I'll just quickly read um what's going on. Yeah, yeah, go ahead with me. Uh-huh. Okay. So it says, um, love must be sincere. Hate what is evil, cling to what is good, be devoted to one another and honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Um, so that's kind of like those words were like jumping out of the page at me. And like I could just like feel my heart stirring for homemaking. And so yeah, I kind of um just started to do some research. Um, this is when I found your podcast, actually. Um, and um there's this girl that I found on Instagram a while ago um who she just made like really nice content um about homemaking and about being a homemaker like before you're married and how like that's possible and important. And she was also like selling like a it's not a workbook. I don't even know what it was. It was like a like a handbook kind of thing where you could just buy like the PDF and it had like budget templates, recipes, cleaning checklists, like all this stuff, all this stuff. And so my grandma's both both the sides of my family, my grandma's chipped in to buy me this, and it was just so cute. And so yeah, that's kind of how that started. Um, but you also asked me what skills I brought in before, and I would say it was very, very minimal. Um, I would say baking was kind of the thing that I had most um experimented with um throughout my childhood and my teenage years. Um, but then um my parents also taught me how to do my laundry, which was great. But um coming to South Africa, we actually do our laundry very differently here. So that was a a very different thing to get used to. So you had to like learn it all over again. Basically. Um well like parts of it, yes.

Allison 13:34

Okay, well, expla just tell me like what's different about the way they that you do laundry in South Africa.

SPEAKER_01 13:39

So we're gonna say like 90% of households don't have a dryer. Um so I mean, I think that's pretty common in a lot of like European countries as well. Um, but I had to learn how to like properly hang dry my clothes because I didn't realize that there was a wrong way to do it. Um so like you can if you're hanging them outside, like you can hang them out too long. And if it's like a really hot day, it can like like um make your clothes lighter. So if you have like something black out there, it like totally sunstains your clothes. And then also it's it's not a fun thing to happen. Um, but then also if you pin the shoulders of like a t-shirt or something, it totally like creases it and it just it doesn't ever lay the same. Um, and so I learned that you have to hang it by the hem and not the shoulders, and like it's silly things like that. But like my my parents also moved to South Africa at the same time, and um, and I remember all of their t-shirts had these like triangles about the shoulders so bad.

Allison 14:58

So people are like, oh, those Americans, they're so used to their dryers, you know. Yeah, definitely. That's interesting. Yeah, I do think that it's less common in in other countries to have a dryer a washer and a dryer, um, particularly in your Europe, I know for sure, just from my limited experience of traveling over there, you don't find dryers in the Airbnbs. Um okay, so what what would you say right now? Because I'm sure you've grown some in your skills, but what would you say right now you're you're really working through? Like what are you struggling with in your homemaking skill set?

SPEAKER_01 15:41

Yeah, so there's a couple of things that they're not like the first one. I think most people struggle with this, especially at first. It's just like the deep cleaning, um, and like doing the things like the oven, the shower, the microwave, um, behind the hard-to-reach places. Like we just don't have a cleaning schedule, honestly. So it just like it's just it's not um something very easy to do. But what we have been doing is just whenever I feel like, okay, the shower really needs to get cleaned, I literally just put it on my to-do list for the week and try and get it done. Um and then the other one, oh, I'm so embarrassed to say this. Um, but as my husband and I were talking about this, we honestly the past like this week and last week was better, but two or three weeks ago, we honestly were just so hungry all the time. And like that was just like it's such like a silly thing. Um, but I just don't feel like we were eating enough food or had enough like snacks at home or just like something. But my husband, he he does eat a lot, he's a very large person, um, and he's very active throughout the day. And so like he'll message me at like 11 o'clock and say he's absolutely starving. Um and so I just I felt a little um disheartened, honestly, after that because it was just like because I was also feeling very hungry at 11 o'clock, and I'm a pretty small person. So it was just it felt like um definitely something that we were struggling with a little bit.

Allison 17:23

So maybe um need to work on nutrient nutrient dense meals or something, you know, things that fill you up more, like I don't know, maybe more more complex carbs or yes.

SPEAKER_01 17:37

Um he okay, so yeah, he probably wasn't eating enough breakfast, but also he um told me during that same time um that he actually thinks he needs to eat four meals during the day and not three. Um, so that so we just need to keep that in mind, and it's it's hard because he's at medical school, so we have to usually like send food with him, or he has to buy from the cafe, which is fine, but like obviously trying not to spend um extra money if we don't have to. So yeah, but it's just it's it's hard to know how to send so much food when you're gone the whole day.

Allison 18:17

So when he's gone all day, yeah. He's in medical school, so I'm sure he's there a long time, like it's long hours.

SPEAKER_01 18:23

Yeah, it's it's pretty similar to the hours of a doctor that is working. Um, like today was special though, like he only worked from 8 30 to 11 30. It was really very simple. So some days are like that, but then other days um he'll have to be in at 7:30 to 4 or something like that. So yeah, it just depends.

Allison 18:47

Well, that's good that you're talking through it and working through problem solving, you know, how you can fix this issue. Is he from is he from South Africa?

SPEAKER_01 18:55

He is um so it's a long story how we met. Um I can give just like a little brief um story. Sure, give us the highlights. What are the highlights? So we met when we were 16. Um, first off, so I'm currently 22. Um, so um yeah, we were 16 when we met. And so we were together for six years before we got married. Um and how we met was actually through TikTok, funny enough. Oh wow. Yeah. So it was just such a funny thing, and it was very funny because about four or five months after we met on TikTok, we both deleted TikTok um because we just like didn't want it to be a part of our lives anymore. Um, and I guess people always say that we we we came what we got, or we came what we went there for, or like yeah, you got you got what you went there for. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um so it's so funny, but yeah, we actually didn't meet in person um for two years after we first met online. So um it was during COVID that we met, or just before COVID actually. Um, and so my grandparents took me to meet him, um, which was so special. Um, so I came to South Africa, um, to Cape Town specifically, and um, I got to spend about two or three weeks with his family and my grandparents, and it was so, so special. Um, and then we saw each other um every six months after that for a year. So it was twice, and then I moved and my parents also moved. Um, and then we had three years um together in Cape Town before getting married. So yeah.

Allison 20:44

Wow, that is an amazing story. I mean, had your parents intended to I mean, they moved with you essentially, but had they had had they had contacts in South Africa before? I mean, or was it just because you had met him and you were gonna be with him and so they just came along?

SPEAKER_01 21:03

Um actually no, it's so funny. I tell people all the time that literally even if I wasn't moving to South Africa, my parents still would have moved. It was one of those situations that was like completely just from the Lord, um, where like my parents, um, they're missionaries here in South Africa. So okay, they um they my my mom was working full-time um in the US. Um, she's a hairstylist, so she owned her own salon. Um, and then my dad was actually a stay-at-home dad, which is quite different. Um, but um they always felt like God was gonna call them um outside of the US one day. They just didn't know when or where. Um, and then around the same time that I was um making plans to move to South Africa, um, God gave them like some really Really crazy, just like um like signs and like people were having like dreams about them going to South Africa that didn't even know that they were considering it, and just like all these really just beautiful confirmations from the Lord. Um, and so yeah, when I say like they would have been here without me, like I really, really mean that. And people don't believe me most of the time, which is funny. Um, but my parents actually live 45 minutes away from me. So I don't even, I the whole time that I've been here, I I've never lived with my parents.

Allison 22:30

Um yeah, yeah. And you said I remember you mentioned in your um application that when you first moved to South Africa, you lived in like a a women's like a multi-generational women's home. Is that correct?

SPEAKER_01 22:43

Yes. So I wanted to touch on that because it really is such a special uh thing. Um, so I'll tell you the name of this place. It's really unique. Um, it's called the Moron Mansion. Um the reason that it's called this is because the owners, their names are Monica and Ronnie. So together moron. Um and it's very funny. There's a sign outside of the outside of the door. Um, but it's this very large house. Um, I guess it would be considered a mansion, but um it's it's just this beautiful, like yellow house with this beautiful large garden. Um, and it's just it's so it just feels like so magical when you're there. Um, but the ages range from like 75 down to me. I was the youngest. And then there's also um currently a baby there because um the daughter of the owner, she um adopted a son because she was a foster care mom. Um and she adopted a son, and so um it was really special to like be a part of the climb um where she was adopting him. And yeah, so there's about 10 ladies um living there. Okay. Um, and I actually didn't know this at the time of moving in, but they all go to the church that I um like started going to, and my husband um he started going there when he began university in Cape Town. Um, so he didn't even know that this was connected at all. It was totally like a God thing that this happened. Um, and it was so beautiful. Um, but I lived there for about a year and a half, and it was honestly a really, really big part of like my transition to South Africa and learning about keeping a home and hospitality for sure and all those things.

Allison 24:42

It was so cool. Yes, yes. Well, I was gonna ask, because it's that's our next question, like what who has influenced your homemaking? And I I'm sure you have some other answers, but I would imagine that those women and that experience living in that home had a big influence on you.

SPEAKER_01 24:57

Absolutely. Um, yeah, I mean, I literally I shared a wall with a 72-year-old. So I um it was just so funny because like she used to be a nurse, and so she was just a very like caring person. Um, and I would hear her at like 5 30 a.m. Um praying in the mornings, and it was just so so special um to have that side of it um spiritually, but then also they were just so hospitable. Um, there was constantly um like either one of them, one of the owners, were giving up their room so somebody could stay in them, in the room for like a week, um, or they were making space in the lounge um with like some pull-out beds or whatever. Um, and then something that was really fun, um, and this pushed me um to learn how to cook was I had a um or we had a meal rotation like roster. Um, so everyone in the house, um, if you decided to do this, you had to cook about once a week or once every other week. Um, and like for everybody else. So you're cooking like large portions for like six to eight people every time you cooked. Um, and so like that was a really cool way to like I have to try to cook. I can't just like buy something from the store because that's gonna be a lot more expensive. Yeah, yeah. But then also learning about portions and um making food for big groups of people. Um, that was a really fun way to learn that.

Allison 26:30

So yeah. Were these what was the purpose of the home? Like, was is it um just for people coming, you know, like you coming into a uh in a transitional time or was it a halfway house, or you know, what was the purpose of the home? Right.

SPEAKER_01 26:44

So it's actually such an interesting story. Um, so both of the women that own the house, they um, so the one, her husband passed away when she was quite young, like right after she had um some babies. So like they she had twins, and then like her husband passed away within the same year. And then the other lady um um she had a divorce and she also had some young kids. And so what they decided to do is instead of just like trying to be single mothers alone, they decided to pull money together and they bought a house and they raised their kids um alongside of each other. And so these kids had like um a this big family and um they had a lot more support than they would have otherwise, which is such a beautiful thing. Um, so as the kids grew up, um, because I mean they've owned this house for I don't know, 40 years, um, like they the kids moved out, and then as they had an empty room, people would move in. So whether it was like church interns or somebody like me that um just needed a place to go that was safe and like had Christian values. Um yeah, and it was mainly women. It was like the only time there was ever a man there was when it was like one of their family members um there from like a short stay. Um but yeah, so I don't know, it's I don't even know what to call it. Like it's more just like a a safe place for women to be.

Allison 28:21

Yeah, yeah. I love that. What a cool ministry. Um I know and I love the story behind it, like how how they got started. That's really awesome. Thank you for sharing that. Of course. Um any other influences on your homemaking?

SPEAKER_01 28:35

Definitely. Um, I really wanted to just like mention my mom because um, as I said before, my mom was working full-time when we were in the US and she owned a salon. Um, but then when we moved to South Africa, just like I mean, her life was completely flipped because she like stopped working and she from the time I was born, she literally was like non-stop working. And so my dad like was the stay-at-home dad and he raised me most of the time. Um, and so it was just it was such a really cool transition when my mom came here and she like she's one of the best like cooks, one of the best bakers that I know. And like it was just so cool to like see her flourish in that. So, like that's a big inspiration. But not only that, like God has really gifted her with um with hospitality, and like there's literally like not a moment where there's not like somebody at my parents' house or where they're not hosting somebody. Um, my parents have over the years hosted like um YWAM teams, um, which is really fun. Um, so like that's like sometimes like 15, 20 people they're like will have in their home um cooking for them. And um, and it's been so cool to see my mom now um in their neighborhood. Um, it's a really diverse community that they live in. Um, but she's literally become like a godmother to one of like the babies that was just born down the street, um, and just like like really just thriving in this like diverse South African community. Um, and just they're such good neighbors. It's just so beautiful to see. And they're just they love on people so so much. And it's just it's so inspiring to me. Um so yeah. Um, and then other than my mom, um, both of my grandmas, um, I would say so. My my mom's mom, um, she also just was like a completely servant-hearted hospitality. Um, that's really, really beautiful. And there was constantly like if they really they live really close to Taylor University. Um, I'm sure do you know Taylor University in Indiana? Um, it's like okay, it's a private Christian university um in yeah, in upland Indiana. Um, but if there's like a student or um somebody in that community that doesn't have family to go to for a holiday or like for a weekend or just wherever it is, like they're like almost a hundred percent going to be at my at my grandparents' house. Like you can almost like you can bargain on that. Like they are just like so beautifully loving. Um, and then also I was gonna say my dad's mom, um, she was the one that taught me how to sew, and she invested in all the supplies and the sewing machine for me. Um, so that's a big inspiration.

Allison 31:37

Yes, definitely. Oh, it's such a gift to have uh a grandma or a mom or aunt or somebody to teach you how to sew. That's that is so wonderful. Um okay, let's talk a little bit about expectations. What are some things that have surprised you about homemaking? Things good or bad. What did you not expect?

SPEAKER_01 31:58

Um, I would say um I didn't realize before what the impact of good homemaking is. Um, and so I think through listening to the podcast and just also um witnessing it um in my family and the people around me, um, just like it really impacts a community and impacts um the people within the household and um the people that you're serving. Like it's just such a beautiful image of um like the servanthood of Christ and just being the hands and feet of Christ. And so I don't think I realized before um that. Um and also um I found that with the homemaking, there's so many things that they do come naturally, but then there are a lot of things that really don't come naturally, that really, really don't. Yeah. So I would say, like, I don't know, I love hosting people, like I would say that comes very naturally, but um, doing the dishes, that does not come naturally to me. Um, and so another thing is a lot of people in South Africa do not have dishwashers. Um, so I mean, especially people in like my stage of life, if you have a small apartment, um, you're not gonna have a dishwasher. It's just like it's not gonna happen. Um, and so over the past three years that I've lived here, I literally have hand washed almost every single dish. Um so oh yes, yes, I feel your pain.

Allison 33:40

Um I think we did not have a dishwasher until I want to say, oh gosh, our second was born. And so we had already been, we had already been married about seven years. Yeah, and got our first. So I did yeah, I did one baby with all the baby, you know, dishes that come with the baby. Um, and then I did about half of the other baby without a dishwasher. And then we got a dishwasher and uh my husband actually installed it. Oh, I was just like, you are my hero. So this is the best day of my life. Yeah, what are what are you mentioned before we started recording, there are some other things that are different. We talked about laundry and we talked about they're not being um, they're not being dishwashers in South Africa. But what else is different about homemaking? Because this kind of falls into the expectations, you know, you might you probably when you were a younger teenager, you were not necessarily expecting you were gonna be a wife in South Africa.

SPEAKER_01 34:41

Totally. Um, so yeah, I I'm trying to like think of what things I was thinking of before. But one of the main things people use here, um, I'm I'm gonna get into this a little bit more later. But tea is a very big thing in South Africa, um, very similarly to tea. Yes, it's very similar um as like in the UK. Um, but so almost every single household has um an electric kettle, which I know that is like a thing in the US, of course. Um but it wasn't until I came to South Africa that like I realized like how useful these things are. Um because I mean in my household, we turn on the kettle probably five times a day at least. Um, but then like you don't just use it for heating up water for your tea. My husband taught me that you can use it to heat up water when you're about to boil pasta or boil something else. And it it is a lifesaver, it takes so much less time. Um and it's it's a it's such a silly thing, but like I I really felt like that was a a big change. Um, okay. They don't have garbage disposals here in the sinks. Okay. Okay. Um, so there's I'm sure you can only expect what would happen um when somebody doesn't have a garbage disposal. Um, but there was a time where I very, very badly clogged the sink. Um. And because I didn't know, like in the US, you can put anything down the sink and it'll probably be fine because um yeah, you can just do the garbage disposal. It does its thing and it goes down. Um, but here it doesn't work like that. Um, especially if you have like if it's winter and there's maybe like grease from something.

Allison 36:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:44

Yeah, it's quite bad. Um, but in the last apartment that I was at, um our laundry machine was hooked up to the same pipe as our um as our sink and as our kitchen sink. And so there was a time where that water that was like getting backed up in in the um kitchen sink would go into our laundry machine. So you can only imagine.

Allison 37:23

Ew. Really bad. Little chunks of food in your in your laundry. Oh gross. Oh man. Um, yeah, okay, that's interesting. Yeah, I'm sure there's so many very different things. Um I speaking of tea, we had some South African friends. We we still keep in touch with some of them. Um, it just happened that my husband met them through his business and and then they brought some people over for their business. And so we got to meet them. They had kids the same age as my kids, and just just this lovely, the loveliest people. Um, and we went over there to their house for a play date one time, and she had Roybus tea. And I had never had Royus before. And oh my gosh, now that's my favorite kind of tea. I love red tea.

SPEAKER_01 38:11

So I have my Royus tea. Yes, I do. I do. Yes. Um, so yes, I was gonna get into this later um because I had never had Roybus before going to South Africa as well. But when I tell you it is the biggest part of the culture, um it's only made in South Africa. Um, it's only made, I think, in the region that I stay as well. It's not really grown anywhere else in South Africa. Um, I could be wrong about that, but um, I'm pretty sure it's grown in the Western tape mainly. Um, but like literally it's so a part of the culture that I think most children start drinking it in their sippy cups at like one year old, one year old. Like it's so like a part of the culture. And I feel like um, at least in the like what my experience was, um E is more of like a feminine thing in the US, I feel like. Um, very much in the US. But in South Africa, um, I mean, my husband, he has tea usually once a day, at least, like either before bed or um in the morning. Um, and sometimes he has coffee instead. But like I don't know a single man here that doesn't drink tea, like on a regular basis. Um, and so like we um we lead a life group. And so um I like I have like my friends like tea orders um like memorized. Like, do they take it with honey? Do they take it with milk? Um, do they leave the tea bag in or take it out? Whatever. It's um it's just so funny. Um, but I love it.

Allison 39:51

I love that that's a part of the culture. So oh yeah, that's great. And and Roybus tea does not have any caffeine in it. So that's another reason why I love it. So absolutely um okay, we could talk about tea all day long, but let's move on. What is an expectation that you've had to let go of for the well-being of yourself and your husband and your household?

SPEAKER_01 40:16

Um, so I guess I do just want to like preface about this because I think this definitely plays into my expectations. Um, so as I said before, I'm an English teacher. Um, and my husband is a medical student. So that means that he does not work. Um, he tutors a little bit, which gets us a little bit of extra cash, which is really, really great. Um, but I have to work full-time. Um, and that's totally fine. Um, that's I mean, what most people my age have to do if they're not in university. So it's it's totally fine. But I think when I originally pictured being a wife, like I was hoping to not have to work full-time. Um, and I was more than willing to do this for my husband and I because we really wanted to get married after being together for six years. Um, but my husband has two more years left of medical school. So um, or the rest of this year um until November and then next year. So they have like a six-year medical degree, so they don't have to do an undergraduate and then um a doctorate program, they just do a bachelor's in medicine for six years. Okay. Um it's very different than the US. But um, after those six years, you do like an internship um and community service. So that's like three years where you're working for the government, um, and he'll be earning then. Um, but for the first two years of our marriage, um, I am gonna be the primary um breadwinner. And that's totally fine, but it obviously doesn't allow for as much um homemaking as I wish I could do. Um so that is like the biggest like expectation that I find to let go of is just like there's certain things with homemaking, um, such as like I used to actually make like so much of my food from scratch, um, and I just like don't have the capacity to do that anymore, um, which is really sad. Um, but it's it's just a part of this time of life. Um, and also like I said before, we just don't have a good cleaning schedule. We like I would say our apartment stays fairly clean, like I feel very happy with it, but like neither of us have the capacity to like stick to a full cleaning schedule. Yeah. Um so I would say those are like the two main things for me that I've had to let go of. Um, so yeah.

Allison 42:50

Yeah. Yeah. That's good though. That's it's good. I I can understand the disappointment to think it was gonna be one thing and then okay, well, I can't do all the fun homemaking stuff I wanted to do, but um learning that flexibility now so that Lord willing, you get to that point where he's making enough income so that you can be a full-time homemaker if that's what you guys want. Um, you know, hopefully eventually children will come and and with every season comes new challenges where you have to put aside some certain expectations.

SPEAKER_02 43:24

Totally.

Allison 43:24

Um, and you have less availability or more availability, like where I'm at now. And it's just part of learning to maintain flexibility. So it's it's kind of good that you're learning it right now. But you're probably right. But I know it's disappointing. So it's um it's for good reason, right? It's for good reason.

SPEAKER_01 43:44

Absolutely.

Allison 43:45

Okay. What now speaking of your schedule and um and I understand you know you're four months in, like you do kind of still feel like you haven't really got a handle on the cleaning. What are some of the things that you're doing to try to set and keep? your priorities in order.

SPEAKER_01 44:02

Oh that's a good question. So my husband and I um we we have like a shared calendar like I think most um most couples have at this point um like with Google Calendar. But I think I put this in um my helpful tools um that I use for homemaking. But um we use this app called Brello. It's a it's like a to-do list type of thing that you can share with other people and it's kind of like it has like everything in one spot. But my husband and I have been able to use that to kind of just like put our priorities out for the week and um just see okay we really need to get these things done. We have our grocery list on there. We have all these things and that's kind of just helped us stay organized um which has been a really helpful tool. But then yeah I I think I am somebody that gets really really tempted to use my free time how I want to use it and not necessarily um how the best way to use it maybe in that time. So maybe I have like a 30 minute break in the day and I really want to sit down and like read or watch some YouTube or something like that. And there's dishes over there that um need to be done. And so I've been really trying to just like pray and like push myself to like think of my husband and not just think of myself and like say okay how can I serve him even when he's not home right now like when he gets home I know that he will love that the dishes are done. Like I like silly little thing but like that really does like make such a difference when you walk into your home and see that it's clean. Yeah. It's like I think I've heard you say this before but like rest for your eyes kind of is what it feels like. Yeah I just yeah I I'm really trying to put my priorities straight and just like thinking about how I can serve um my husband and those around me first before I do the things that I prefer to do.

Allison 46:29

So yeah. I love that. Yeah. How do you maintain healthy relationship with social media or media in general or do you just are you like an analog person and you're just not an engaged at all?

SPEAKER_01 46:41

No, I would definitely say I'm not an analog person. I would say there was a time in my life where I I did like delete Instagram and like TikTok and like all of those things. I don't have TikTok anymore. Like I mentioned earlier um my husband and I we deleted um TikTok like a couple months after meeting each other because we were just both done with it. So I haven't had it since which I'm honestly like very very thankful for. And um but yeah I still have Instagram um I have Pinterest um and YouTube. Those are the three main ones that I have but um yeah I think I've just had a really like rocky relationship with Instagram um where there was times that I felt like I was really addicted to it. So I had to I had to delete it. But then I feel like because of that I just got so used to like not having it that there has gone like 10 days like where I just like don't even think about it and don't check it. And like I just I just don't and I don't um I think I think for the longest time I didn't even have my notifications on Instagram on um because I just didn't really care. But then I realized there were some people that were actually trying to contact me through Instagram so I did have to have them on. But then yeah I would say for a long time Pinterest has been my weakness um just because it has all the pretty things it has all the source ideas I know I want to get something so pretty be so bad. But no it's it's not bad. It's just to be unhealthy. But yeah I would say I also just I really enjoy watching YouTube. So I think I've just I've recently tried to like step away a lot from Pinterest um but I would say with YouTube I treat it kind of like podcasts. So I will listen to a YouTube video while I'm um doing the dishes or cleaning or whatever. So recently a lot of what I've been watching on YouTube has been more podcast esque like it's it's in the same realm as well.

Allison 49:03

More audio focused. Yeah exactly so cool yeah okay yeah we're all just trying to figure that out I'm um I'm debating um an actually official breakup with social media but I I don't I don't know stay tuned I haven't decided yet so fair okay um I'm watching our time we're gonna skip ahead and um I would love to talk about hospitality specifically what is hospitality like for you in South Africa um okay so like we were talking about before we have tea that's a really big thing but something that like really stands out about that um why I want to like speak about it so much is because something here in South Africa is you are always always always offered tea or coffee when you walk into somebody's home um or if you're there for a meal you are offered tea and coffee after the meal we have tea and coffee um after church like literally in like every social gathering there's tea and coffee.

SPEAKER_01 50:14

And so yeah it's very similar to the UK where there literally is like tea time. So like me and my friends will like we'll go over to each other's houses for tea. Like it's it's so cute. I love it. But then something my husband was also saying is that um offering somebody tea and cop coffee like maybe after a meal or something it's um the people's way of saying that you are welcome in their home and that they're happy for you to stay longer. So without them like putting it into words like that, that is what the gesture means which I think is really beautiful.

Allison 50:52

So yeah. I love that.

SPEAKER_01 50:55

I love that is tea time a specific time there um it's around like three to five p.m I think um I think kind of a mid-late afternoon refresh refreshment time of refreshment after lunch before dinner in the middle exactly okay exactly um yeah and there's there's quite a bit with hospitality that I want to like tell you about because like I've just learned so much since being here. But similarly to the US how the US has barbecues we have something here called a bra and a bra is um well like the literal thing is it's um a non-electric like uh I don't even know what to call it like a grid where like um you build a fire and um you let the fire burn but then you don't cook the meat on the fire you cook the meat um from the heat of the coals the coals yeah yeah yeah so it's a very like slow cooking process but it's a really like nice way to eat um your meat um but the thing with a bri like a barbecue it's not just a way of cooking it's actually an event so um like for birthdays people will have a bry um and unlike the US um where in the US it might last like two hours here it's a minimum like absolute minimum of four hours so um like my husband was saying that he it's usually like a whole portion of a day. So if you have a lunch bra, people will start getting there probably at 12 and they probably won't leave until five or six o'clock or if you have a dinner brick getting there at four or five and probably won't leave until 11 or 12. Um okay so it's a very long event. Um but the reason it's so long is because you have to start the fire and the fire burning like tur takes about an hour and then on top of that you have to do the meat. But people usually don't start the brae or start the fire until like an hour after you've gotten to the to the house. Yeah it's just a very extended thing um but it's really fun and it's just such a nice like time for fellowship and um community and it's just it's really nice. So yeah um let's see then so a way that I have been able to practice hospitality since moving to South Africa is how I've gotten accustomed to the culture. And so instead of expecting everyone else to move around me I have had to choose to change to be the culture in not like an unhealthy way but like I can't expect the same things that I have in America here. My vocabulary has changed so so much um like I say words like keen like I'm keen to do that or I'm um I don't know I can't even think of other words off the top of my head but there's just like oh like I say the the bin instead of the trash can because nobody says trash can here everybody says bin yeah or the lounge instead of the living room like stuff like that.

Allison 54:41

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 54:42

Um so I have to change my words so that they can better understand what I'm saying. Um but then this is a kind of a funny one it might be controversial but um my opinion on like alcohol has changed a little bit. So um I came from a home that like my family did not drink at all. Like to talk about alcohol felt forbidden. But like I mean when I moved to South Africa I was 19. So I was not even drinking age like in the US um but drinking age here is 18. So like I knew that it was just going to be different when I moved um so I had to think about what I was going to do. But the thing is in South Africa wine is such a big part of the culture. So um in South Africans are very very proud of their um wine and their um their vineyards and all these things it's one of the biggest attractions when you come to my region of South Africa um and my parents they want like I said like they didn't drink at all um they like the whole time that I was growing up I don't remember them ever having alcohol and that's how to change for them completely because they literally live in South Africa's winelands. That's literally where they live now. So it's kind of ironic but it's um it's very funny and it's such a beautiful place um like one of the most beautiful places in South Africa. But it's it's been a total like paradigm change in a way because it's just it is just a part of the culture and it's okay. So yeah. Yeah. And then those are some big those are some differences. Yeah yeah one more I I did um there was so being in South Africa they have about 12 official languages um and so 12 12 yeah 12 um a dozen okay it's it's a lot um yeah but they're not all speaking or the sorry they're not all spoken in every region. Um so the main ones that are spoken in the region that I live in is English um Afrikaans and Isinghosa. Isinghosa is a clicking language which it's the language that you hear in the movie Black Panther which is quite cool. But um yeah so since moving to South Africa I've had to I've had to learn like portions of the language um and I actually would consider this a part of being hospitable um because once again like it's I don't want to people to um conform to like my standards but I want to be able to um be in the culture and like experience it. And my husband he actually grew up bilingual. So he yeah it's really cool and because his mom um spoke fully in Afrikaans to him and his brother and then his dad fully in English. So whenever I go to his family's house and there's a family gathering it's fully in Afrikaans. So I had to I can't speak it so well but I can understand quite a bit. So I've had to learn so that I can follow conversations and not feel totally left out. Um so that's been part of that um and it's been like a really special thing um because his mom is always just like whoa you're getting so much better at this than I thought you would be and like or just like are like are just um we have to be careful what we're saying around you because we know you'll understand. Um and it's very cute. Um but yeah then it's just it's been so cool because language is is just a really big part of my life because I am in English as a foreign language teacher. Um so it's just it's been a really special thing and it's something that I want to continue to grow in as well. So yeah.

Allison 58:58

Yeah that's wonderful. Yes I think language is a huge part of being hospitable you know when you're in a different country is at least making an effort um even if you're a tourist um at least make an effort to learn some basic phrases particularly if you go to France.

SPEAKER_01 59:14

They really appreciate the effort yes it's it's just a it's a really good way of showing respect to the people and that you really care about them and that you're not just using them and their country for pleasure. It's absolutely yeah I just think it it impacts people more than we realize um yes 100% um okay I have some rapid fire questions for you.

Allison 59:39

Tell me about your biggest homemaking fail so far.

SPEAKER_01 59:43

Alison um this is um a really gross one I must say I'm so sorry. But okay so in all of the houses that I've lived in um bugs are a problem during certain times of the year. So like in February in March you can expect um you can expect um oh what are they called um maggots which is really gross. Um not nice so you have to really figure out how to get around that so that's part of it. But then also um parts of the year is cockroach season. So that's not fun. So basically my epic fail is um the last apartment that I lived in I lived in with one of my best friends. She was one of my bridesmaids love her so much um but we had a bit of a cockroach problem and we didn't know where they were coming from but they were always like kind of migrating around my microwave. And so we were like okay like that's really strange but like we didn't think anything of it. We were just trying to like get rid of them when we could um then I moved into um my current apartment where my husband and I were going to start seeing and I didn't realize it but I infested our apartment with cockroaches because I brought my microwave it was perfectly fine. Oh no it was so bad. It was perfectly fine before I brought the microwave in but then all of a sudden there was just baby cockroaches everywhere and it was so so bad.

Allison 1:01:28

Um yeah I would definitely say that it has been my biggest feel you just gave them a brand new home you're like here you go yeah absolutely I guess they had I guess there were the eggs were probably in the microwave and then they hatched when you got to your new place.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:47

Oh no but thankfully my husband is so proactive um he's so good at just like getting things done um and so like we were we were at our apartment for a week after getting married and before going on honeymoon and during that time he like got it taken care of um so like it was great but like never again like I really need to get out those things. Okay tell me about a recent homemaking win um oh this um is a really fun one for me um I I think it was probably a month ago I made enchiladas for the first time and they were so good they were so good and that felt like a huge win for me because in South Africa there's not like very authentic Mexican food because we're very far away from Mexico. And so to to know that like I could make enchiladas that taste like home was so nice. Because I grew up in an area that was very much um like there was a very large Hispanic community um where I grew up. And so there's Mexican restaurants absolutely everywhere. I I'm sure you understand living in Texas how yes it's it's so nice.

Allison 1:03:07

There's literally one on the outside of my neighborhood on the corner. It's a taco truck but it's it's a glorified taco truck. Like they have a place to sit and everything but that's very common here too. I mean every corner has taco trucks on them and Mexican food everywhere.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:21

So I feel you yeah congratulations that's a great achievement thank you I think so too okay what is a homemaking product or resource that you are loving right now um so in February I think mid-February I finished a book um that I got while we were um on honeymoon in the US um because that's where we decided to go and I got it from half price books um and it's um the book called The Gospel Comes with a house key um by Rosara Butterfield. Honestly one of like the best books on hospitality and homemaking it is so challenging and so like convicting um I absolutely like recommend it to everybody that like has a desire to be hospitable because it is just so beautiful like seeing her story and how she lives like so like servantheartedly and so humbly with her family and just like how they've chosen to live with their community and be um really good neighbors. And that has challenged me so much. And so um I really want to take steps to replicate that more in my life. So I would say it's been really cool. And then there's one more thing that is so special. My grandma's church they decided to create a cookbook um like with like people from like like recipes from all the people in their church. And so she gave me a copy for Christmas and it is just like so special to me. I have it right here because I just wanted to show you how cute it is um but it's called like spreading the joy and it's like this little binder. And that's where I got the recipe for the enchiladas. So I am very very thankful for this. Okay.

Allison 1:05:17

Awesome. Yeah oh that's so sweet. I love those like church cookbooks where all the ladies bring their best recipes or junior league cookbooks like that. Find the best recipes in there. That's awesome. All right give me a homemaking hack or tip that you love.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:32

So I already mentioned Trello so I'm not gonna talk about that again. But something that my husband and I have tried doing um to help us with budgeting is we have decided to make budgeting fun. So I heard somebody say one time in a YouTube video um like what helped them get good at budgeting is they created or they made it like a game for them. So what we decided to do as We really wanted to do the envelope system, but we didn't want to go get like real cash for that. So I used Canva and I just designed our own little like plate cash. Um, and it says like in God we trust on it. And it's like this really cute, like little like colorful um like oh paper bill. Um, and so we have it in like tens, twenties, because in South Africa, obviously the currency is different, so it's in brand. So tens, twenties, one hundreds, two hundreds, five hundreds. And we have our budgeting envelopes. So every envelope has um the physical cash in it or like the play cash so that we can physically take it out so it feels like a um the physical act um so that you feel the um the spending a little bit more. Yeah. You can physically see how much money you have. Um, so we found that so fun. And it's a nice activity to do together. We do it like once a week. Um, we just like um sit together and go through all of our expenses and take out what we spent, and it's been great.

Allison 1:07:04

So that is so fun. I love that idea. Yeah, what a cool. And then you could like personalize it and put your family name on it or put your pictures on it or something. Exactly. That's so fun. I love that so much. Okay, tell me about your signature dish or something you want to be your signature dish.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:25

Must I say it again? The the enchiladas, honestly. The enchiladas, that's gonna be it. It is. I I really want to be known as the girl in my church community that can make enchiladas and that they feel authentic. Um, so yeah.

Allison 1:07:41

That is a worthy goal. That is a worthy goal. Okay, let's talk about the art of home. Well, how do you see homemaking as an art and where do you find beauty in it?

SPEAKER_01 1:07:52

Um, so something that I just love about homemaking is how everybody really can do it differently, but it's all very equal in um purpose and in quality. Um, no matter how somebody chooses to do it, as long as their heart is like in it and as long as they're doing it, I think with um the hands and feet of Jesus. Like I think it's just it's so beautiful, no matter how it's done. Um, I think it's so cool that there's constant growth um in homemaking. Like you're never gonna reach that peak moment. Um and like, yeah, like for the rest of my life, I'm gonna be growing in some way of homemaking. Um, and like also there's just so many um creative aspects to homemaking just naturally because of cooking, baking, sewing, yeah, whatever it is. Um, and I really love that as well. Um, I just think it's so special um to be able to create something and be able to put it in my home. Like, for example, um, last year my goal was to finish like a paint by number um so that I could hang it up in my husband and I's home when we got married. Um, and so like it took me so long to do, um, but it really was like a labor of love. And now it's like sitting on our mantle and it's just like so cute. And it's just like I love knowing that like I worked hard to like make something beautiful for my home. Um, so yeah.

Allison 1:09:32

Love that. I love that so much. Let's talk to the other women who are listening. Um, I want to talk to those that are behind you and those that are ahead of you. So, first let's talk to the older women. What is something um that you would like them to understand about your generation's experience as a homemaker? What do you need help with and how can they come alongside and support you?

SPEAKER_01 1:09:57

I think something that I found is that I think a lot of older women really do want to help younger women, but they don't think that we want their help. Um, and so like I want them to know that we do want their help. Like, I mean, I just like I really can feel that. Like I would love for older women to like step alongside me and teach me how to do things, um, especially like those lost skills like sewing, um, crocheting, knitting, making things from scratch. Um, there's just like so many things that rolls my age. Like, we can learn them from social media, but like, how much more special is it to learn it from the 70-year-old granny in your church? Like, it's just it's so much more special. Um, and then yeah, I think we had this really interesting experience one time with um some in the trenches homemakers, as you would say, um, where it was supposed to be this like um women's gathering with like a couple of young ladies and a couple of older ladies um getting advice from them. And it was just like very strange because it felt like all that they were doing was telling us how difficult like raising children and how difficult being like a wife and a homemaker is. And like they just weren't saying much positive, which was so sad because I know there is so much positive, but like we don't want to just know like how there's gonna be challenges. Like I think it's it's great to know those things because it is like the reality track. Like we need to know that it's not just all roses all the time. Yeah, right. But I think it's so impactful also to know how good it can be in those highlights. Um, so it just made me sad that um I don't know, it just felt like they were like trauma dumping on us, um, which was oh no, yeah.

Allison 1:11:58

Oh, that's hard. That's really hard. But that's a good word to hear that you know, get try just be aware to that you're giving, make sure you're giving the full picture. Um and to you older ladies listening, if you feel like you can't give the full picture, then maybe don't say anything right now. Maybe. Um, okay, what about to the younger, to the younger girls? I mean, you're 22, but there's always somebody coming behind you. Maybe she's a single um college student or high school student, or she's about to get married. What's some advice that you would give those girls?

SPEAKER_01 1:12:37

So because I just got married, I'm gonna just like quickly mention um just like a wedding thing. But um, I think so much so many people are like so weary to get married um because of like budgeting for a wedding and like finances and all those things. Um, but like I did just like want to say for the young women listening, like my husband and I had like a pretty small budget for our wedding, but it was like one of the most beautiful days. Like I did not feel like I missed a thing. Um, like we didn't even have like a like a proper reception. We had like a it was like a day wedding, and then we had like a tea like type of like brunch afterwards, which was so lovely. Um, but like I don't know, I think you really need to focus on what's important to you when you're wedding planning and not like what the world sees as like a proper wedding. Um, because like I literally I don't look back and regret a single thing of that day. Like, and like it was so beautiful, and literally we did all of our own decorations, um, and it was so minimal. But um, like I even did my own flowers and my um my bridesmaids did their own bouquets with me like the day before the wedding, and just like it was so special, and like you don't have to let finances hold you back from having a super special day, and I think I do just like want people to hear that. Um but then my advice like for like homemaking specifically, um, is that like you don't have to wait to start practicing homemaking and you can practice serving people within your home with what you have because you do not need much. Um, like it's great to even just like always try to have something small to offer, even if that's literally just a glass of cold water um or coffee and tea, as we were saying. Um, like something small, I just really feel like goes a long way and people really um appreciate that. And then I think the last thing that like I really wanted to highlight is making your place a home um and like a like sorry, making your home a place of refuge and of filling up and not a place that drains people. Um, so that doesn't mean having a spotless home. Um, but I have I've been into homes of people my age um that are honestly just a wreck, like they're not enjoyable to be in. Um, and there's just no sense of rest within them. Um, and it felt very draining and it just didn't feel like they cared um about me being there, and it didn't feel like they cared about their home. So it's but it's also I want to say it's not about having a spotless home. And because honestly, on the flip side, people can have homes that are too clean and it can make you feel very stressed out being there um because you don't want to mess it up. So I think just finding the balance, um, because it's like I think having a clean home shows people that you care about them and about your home. Um, but also like have a lived-in home. Like that's that's so important as well.

Allison 1:16:10

So yes, those are all very good words of wisdom. Thank you so much for sharing all that and for talking about the wedding and the small budget. I agree, I agree a thousand percent. I mean, I got married a thousand years ago, but we also had a very small budget and we did it, you know. It was we do a lot of the same things that you did, and it is possible. So don't be discouraged, ladies. Thank you so much, James, for being here. This has been such a fun conversation, and I'm so glad we got to hear perspective from someone living on the other side of the world from me. So I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:44

Thank you, Allison.

Allison 1:16:45

It's been so fun. Thank you for listening to this homemaker portrait of James Yan. I hope you have been inspired and challenged by her story in a way that will positively affect your own homemaking. In listening back to this episode, I noticed a common thread showing up throughout. As an American living in South Africa, James has had to adjust to cultural differences, language differences, and all sorts of things. She could go into this situation demanding that everyone cater to her needs as the foreigner among them, but instead she's chosen to look for ways to embrace their culture by adapting to their way of life, learning their language, and honoring their customs. She has sought to serve rather than to be served. And isn't really that how we are all called to live? As servants rather than demanding that we be served? How does this desire to be served by others meeting your expectations or adjusting their lives for your comfort? How does that show up in your home, in your relationships, and in your homemaking? Just some food for thought. If you've made it this far, you are a champion listener. Drop a South African flag in a comment, text, or email, and let me know how this episode has impacted you or caused you to think differently about your homemaking. Thank you so much for listening all the way to the end. One more thing you can do if this episode was helpful in any way is to share it with another homemaker that you know who might also find value and inspiration in James's story of home. You can leave a rating and a review, and you can say thanks over at buymeacoffee.com/slash theartofome by leaving a tip, aka a cup of coffee. I take mine with lots of milk and a little bit of sugar. Thanks so much for supporting the Art of Home Ministry to Homemakers. Don't forget to sign up for our email list so you will get notified as soon as the magazine launches and as soon as guest applications and nominations for the summer open up. Click the link below or go to theartofome podcast.com slash subscribe. That's all for this episode. I will be back on Monday with some more spring cleaning motivation and next Wednesday with a deep dive on quilting 101. Until then, keep practicing your art of making a home.