Homemaker Portrait | Jazmine Wyland

Hey Homemaker!

We kick off this episode with a few updates and a BIG ANNOUNCEMENT! Then we jump into a brand new homemaker portrait.

I am chatting with Jazmine Wyland who is making a home with Matthew, her husband of 2 years, and their 17-year-old foster son. Jazmine shares her journey of the past 10 years beginning when she left home to live in her pastor’s family’s basement apartment, through becoming a newlywed with BIG expectations and idealized visions of home that were immediately challenged by the reality and unpredictability of married life. 

Jazmine’s story is a beautiful reminder that home isn’t found in perfect homemaking, but rather in present homemaking. That is, in being flexible, intentional and resourceful to create an atmosphere and a space where you and your people feel at home and can connect with one another whatever your present circumstances.

NOTES & LINKS

Full show notes on the blog, theartofhomepodcast.com/blog > search "Jazmine Wyland". Includes a recipe from Jazmine featuring her signature flavor: Blueberry Lemon Shortbread Bars

https://www.theartofhomepodcast.com/post/being-present-in-homemaking-with-jazmine-wyland

Mother-in-Law/Daughter-in-Law Relationship Survey, https://forms.gle/TMchcyYD7DM7vawD8

The Homemaker's Journal Magazine News and Updates, theartofhomepodcast.com/subscribe

Transcript

Allison 0:01

Hello, homemakers, and welcome to the Art of Home podcast, where we are exploring how homemakers cultivate a place to belong. I am your host, Alison Weeks. I'm a wife, a mom, a granny, and I have been practicing the Art of Home since 1992. Welcome, longtime listeners and recent additions to our audience. I'm so glad you are listening in for the fantastic story of home that I have for you today. And I'm honored that you are trusting me with some of your valuable time. I pray it will be fruitful for you. And we are going to get to this brand new interview, but first, I have a few updates for you. This is the part of the show where I tell you fun and exciting news about the art of home and or what is happening in my own homemaking, such as products that I'm loving or projects that I'm working on. This update is brought to you by listeners who support the Art of Home through Buy Me a Coffee. Buy Me a Coffee is a virtual tip jar where you can show your appreciation and your support for the show by giving a one-time tip or by becoming a Titus2 Woman supporter and setting up a recurring tip of $5 per month. Titus2Women supporters receive my undying gratitude and the occasional perk, such as free printables and free registration for the recipe exchange and other fun things. Whichever way you choose to give, I am grateful for your support. First, applications and nominations are closed for the spring season. I contacted everyone whether you got a spot or not, so please check your email. Nominations and applications will open again in May for guests who will appear in our summer season. So keep a lookout for that. I am still collecting your thoughts on mother-in-law, daughter-in-law relationships in the survey. Thank you so much if you have already filled one out. This info is very helpful in deciding how to structure an episode on this topic. To fill yours out, just click the link in the show notes. And finally, the big, big, big news that I've been hinting at is the Art of Home seasonal magazine is officially in the works. The Homemaker's Journal will be coming your way later in the spring. We will produce two issues in 2026 a spring-summer issue and a fall holiday issue. To coincide with the Art of Home's fifth birthday this spring, issue number one will have a birthdays and celebrations theme. And the second issue will be focused on hospitality. Each issue will include featured articles based on the theme as well as regular segments focused on homemaking skills, the pillars of homemaking, and homemaker culture. But this is more than a magazine you simply read. There will be places for you to record your own reflections, recipes, and a record of your homemaking. My goal is for the homemaker's journal to be a resource, a reference, and a record, a resource for encouragement, inspiration, and Titus II wisdom, a reference for developing your homemaking skills and cultivating homemaker culture, and a record of your own homemaking journey for you to regularly reflect on and possibly leave a Titus II legacy for your daughters and your granddaughters. The homemakers journal is intended to be a useful tool and a meaningful keepsake. I will give more details in the weeks to come, but for now, please pray for me and for the 14 homemakers who have signed on to contribute their writing to our first issue. If you would like updates on all the latest news related to the Homemakers Journal, including production prayer requests and notifications of pre-sale and the launch date, make sure that you are on our mailing list. Sign up at the Artof Home Podcast.com slash subscribe, and you will be in the know about all things magazine related. Now on to today's episode. Jasmine's story is a beautiful reminder that home isn't found in perfect homemaking, but rather in present homemaking. That is, in being flexible, intentional, and resourceful to create an atmosphere and a space where you and your people feel at home and can connect with one another. I will be back at the end with a few closing reminders and this episode's listener emoji code. So be sure to stick around if you want a gold star for listening to the end. Seriously, gold stars aside, you don't want to miss any of this conversation with Jasmine. She is an old soul and has much wisdom to share with us all. Whatever you are applying your hands to as you listen, I know you will enjoy Jasmine's story of home. Welcome to the Art of Home. I am here with In the Trenches homemaker, Jasmine Wyland, and she's going to tell us about her story of home and um all that she does up there in the Midwest in Ohio as a homemaker. But before we get into your background, Jasmine, just say hey to everybody. Tell us a little bit about who you are today.

SPEAKER_00 6:25

Hi, I'm Jasmine. Um I am married to Matthew. We've been married for almost two years now. We have a 17-year-old foster son. Um, I work for our church of daycare, but also as our pastor's secretary. Uh, so it's very busy, but I enjoy all the work that we that I do there. Um I like running, and my husband and I are have a goal to go to all 63 national parks. So so far we've made it to four.

Allison 6:57

Awesome. Oh, that's such a great goal. Which four have you been to?

SPEAKER_00 7:01

Uh Cuyahoga National Park because it's like an hour away. Um on our honeymoon, we went to Acadia National Park in Maine, and it was the most beautiful place I think I've ever been in my whole life. Um, we went to New River Gorge National Park last year, 2024, over Thanksgiving. And then 2025, we went to Indiana Dunes National Park, and it my husband says it looks like Florida. I've never been to Florida, but all I know is it was hot.

Allison 7:37

So yeah. Oh my goodness. That's so I love that goal so much. And I'm so glad to hear that you loved Acadia National Park because um that is on the top of our list of where of where we would like to go for a trip. My husband and I, we we want to like, it's all it would be a really long haul, but we want to pull our camper up there and go and um and just explore that whole area. Can't you can take like a isn't there a ferry that'll take you across into Canada at Acadia?

SPEAKER_00 8:08

No, not there because Acadia is um Atlantic Ocean.

Allison 8:14

Oh, it's on the Atlantic side. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 8:16

Yeah. But so we climbed um Mount Cadillac and it's like a hundred one thousand five hundred some feet. Um, but you can stand at the top and see the ocean, and like you're inside the clouds, and it's the most surreal thing ever. Like it was just amazing.

Allison 8:34

That is so awesome. Cool. Well, that's a great goal. Um, two years married, 17-year-old foster son. I know we're gonna probably hear a little bit about how that came about when we get into your story. So yeah. Um, so let's dive in. So let's go first back to the beginning. When did you uh first become a homemaker? And what skills, if any, did you bring with you?

SPEAKER_00 9:01

So I would say I started homemaking when I was 18. Um, I moved out of my parents, out of my mom's when when I was 18 after graduating and into a really tiny apartment with a friend. Um, it was a basement apartment in the basement of a family in our church. And it had its own bathroom and a fake kitchen. Um, and I say fake because it had a sink, but you had an electric burner that plugged in, um, and that was our stove. But um so I say that that's the beginning because despite it being so small and inconvenient, really, uh we I always tried to have people over and like decorate it and make it homey and just find any excuse to have people come into that space. Um and I would say skills cooking, but also in a way, hosting. Um and I think cooking was more so out of just necessity. Growing up, we didn't have a lot of money. And so it was like you just tried stuff because it's what you had. And so through trial and lots of error, um, I became a pretty good cook.

Allison 10:20

So yeah. Okay, so it sounds like you were almost in like a dorm room situation, you know, with having a sink and a and a burner basically. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 10:31

Yeah, it was looking back, I'm like, wow, you made some crazy meals on that electric burner. Uh-huh. So uh yeah.

Allison 10:40

Necessity is the mother of invention, though. So you get creative when you have to be. Yeah. Um, so when did you meet your husband?

SPEAKER_00 10:48

So funny story. My husband and I have known each other for 13 years. Okay. So he is now, he's 22, and I'm turning 23, and I just turned 28. So it kind of adds to the uniqueness of us having a 17-year-old foster child. Um, because we're we're not that much older than he is, but life is unique sometimes. Yeah. But so I met him when I started going to our church um about 13 years ago. So but at that time he was like 10. So yeah.

unknown 11:26

Fine. It's okay.

Allison 11:29

That's an eight. I mean, that's unusual for the the woman to be older than the guy. Does that is that weird for y'all? Like, it's not weird for you, obviously, because you were married, but like, do you brush up against people who that freaks them out or they're like they look at you like a scant?

SPEAKER_00 11:45

Sometimes, but my husband and I both I would say are really old souls. Um, so like we match in that way. And he looks a little bit older and I look a little bit younger. So if we're together, you can't tell that one of us is older because we just kind of balance it out.

Allison 12:04

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You do you don't look 28, you look a lot younger. I don't know if you want to hear that right now at your age. If you know, when somebody tells me I don't look 52, I'm like, well, thank you very much.

SPEAKER_00 12:15

No, I never would have guessed that.

Allison 12:19

Um, okay. So what is your biggest homemaking strength?

SPEAKER_00 12:24

So I asked my husband, we both agreed that it's resourcefulness. Um and I think again, like a lot of that just comes from necessity, um, having to figure it out. Like just because you didn't have it didn't mean that you didn't have to do it. You just had to figure it out.

Allison 12:42

So yeah. Yeah. That's a good strength to have. So, what about your weakness?

SPEAKER_00 12:48

Um, I thrive a little too well in consistency. Uh, it doesn't sound like a weakness, but it is because I'll miss out on like impromptu moments because I'm so good at just this day. This is Monday. So on Monday we do blah blah blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then I don't want to do the surprise thing that comes up because, well, it's Monday, and we don't do that on Mondays. So yeah.

Allison 13:23

So it's good that you recognize that.

SPEAKER_00 13:25

So and my husband is the exact opposite.

Allison 13:27

I was just gonna say, is he spontaneous?

SPEAKER_00 13:30

Okay. Yes. So we meet in the middle a lot because uh if there was no spontaneity for him, he'd be really bored. And um, if there was no consistency for me, I just he I wouldn't be a good wife. So I wouldn't know how to function.

Allison 13:44

So yeah, yeah. That's good. Sounds like you're well matched in that area. So, okay. Um, how about influences? Who or what has had a big influence on your homemaking?

SPEAKER_00 13:56

So my pastor's wife, um, I would say is the biggest influence for for that. When I first moved out, um, so the apartment that we lived in, it was actually in their basement. Um, my pastor and his his family. Um, but so she loved me in such a practical way. Um, and she taught me so many things, like through Beat, how to be a good host. Um, we would, I would help her like set up for set up their house for after service if we had missionaries or evangelists or people come over and just like simple things like how to make a pot of coffee. I didn't know how to make a pot of coffee, and she taught me how to do that. And I still remember the way that she told me how to make a pot of coffee or how to set a table or those types of things. And she probably wouldn't say that she did a good job at this, but she really did um prioritizing like the connecting with the people that are in your home and in your space is more important than having the perfect space because she has had three boys and two dogs, and just like there was a lot of stuff going on that she could have been distracted by while people were in her home. And she did a really good job modeling the people that are there are the biggest priority at that time. So I I would say her. She's she's great.

Allison 15:21

Yeah, that's she sounds like an amazing um influence and really helpful person. Um, okay, well, expectations. That's what's up next. Uh, what are some things that surprised you about homemaking? Just good or bad, something you didn't expect.

SPEAKER_00 15:39

Um, so I would say the biggest surprise was that you didn't need a lot of money to do it and to do it well. Um all of the fancy gadgets and things are great, but plates from the dollar store and a home cooked meal with a candle from Goodwill will do the same thing as the fancy set and the fancy candle. And like I have a fancy set of dishes that are on my wish list, but like we don't have them right now and we don't need them. So but growing up, um that feeling of like home and having space didn't exist. And so I always thought it was because, oh, well, we're poor and that's why home doesn't feel like home. Oh, well, my mom's a single mom, so that's why this doesn't feel like home. So when when I moved out and started being able to do those things, I realized that it wasn't about like the money that you have that makes it feel home, that it's about the people and just you and the way that you are makes your home a home and feel homey.

Allison 16:47

Yeah, yeah. It's that whole um the homemaker can set the tone of the home with with her attitude and and her um resourcefulness and all of those things. Good or for bad, right? She can set the tone. And I have some days where I set a good tone and some days where I set a not so good tone. Yeah. Um it it's a lot of it's a lot of responsibility and and influence and power that we have. And so yeah, I think it's good to be aware and mindful of that so that we can be good stewards of that influence that God has given us over the culture and the whole atmosphere of our home. It's really, really important. Um is there a particular expectation that you had to let go of for the well-being of your marriage?

SPEAKER_00 17:38

Well, so it's funny, and I'm we'll get into it. I just feel like expectations all around.

unknown 17:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:45

Just all around, the Lord has been working out expectations. Um, and so when my husband and I were going through pre-marriage counseling, um, my our pastor told me, he told us, but it was more specifically me, um, because he's known me a long time and he knew that I would need this advice. But he basically said that ask God to take away your expectations of what marriage is going to be. And I'm a very practical person, like almost too practical. Um, and so like I had really grounded expectations of what marriage was. And like he he told us that, like, we were really set up to be good. Um, but he said, pray and ask God to take those expectations away. And and it was true because your expectations, no matter how realistic they are, when life doesn't match those expectations, can rob you of the joy of what you're actually living. So, like your ideal marriage or your ideal family situation can take away from what you're actually living and cause you to miss out on what's actually here.

Allison 19:05

Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Um, no, that's a wonderful point. And what great advice that he offered you because it can it can cause you to miss out, it can cause you to end up being bitter too, like frustrated or maybe frustrated, or I think people we all um respond to unmet expectations in different ways and and in different situations too, depending on the situation. Like, but it we can often respond negatively if we're if we're like if we have a death grip on those expectations. So that was really great advice that he offered you guys. Um okay, so parenting. Now, this is gonna be interesting because I I want to hear the story about this 17-year-old foster kid that you're that you guys have living with you now. You want to tell us about that?

SPEAKER_00 19:53

Yeah, so like most things, uh, we didn't enter into it in the way that I thought that it was gonna be. Um, going into marriage, I thought we'd start out with the baby, not with a teenager who's partially cooked already. Um, he's almost done at this point. But so in August of 2025, uh, we took in Braden, our foster son. Um, and he came, we've known him and his family for I don't know, a decade now. His family was at our church. Um, and in 2024, his mom had some issues, and she just decided that she was gonna take them um and leave the state. So she took them and they were, they weren't allowed to have contact with anyone from the church, and they were ripped from their life that they knew. Um, but their older oldest sister stayed behind because she was 18 and she could make that choice. Well, their mom decided one day in the summer of 25 that she didn't want to take care of them anymore. Um, so she drove them back to Ohio and dropped them off with her sister, who couldn't take care of them because she was she was 19 and she can't take care of four children uh or three other children. So Brayden came to stay with us, and then his two siblings went and stayed, are living with a another family in our church. Um, and that family helps us like get him to school and different things um because my husband and I both work. So it's kind of a a living group of it takes a community uh to truly do it and to do it well. Um but it's interesting because he never had home, he he's never had the feeling of home, or there's certain things that were just really eye opening. So when he first came to stay with us, we got him a bed set. No big deal. We tell him to make his bed. didn't know what a fitted sheet was. He wrapped his mattress in a flat sheet because he had never seen a fitted sheet. And like it just broke my heart. Like, how have you never made a bed? Um, so it's been an adjustment in a lot of ways, but it's been probably one of the biggest blessings that could have happened to my husband and I and our family.

Allison 22:27

What an amazing picture of how the church is supposed to function um in support of one another, you know, that you guys were willing to give these kids a home. Um, that's just really commendable and um so very uh in line with how Christ is calling us to live. So, you know, what are some of the ways that bringing Braden? I know it's pretty new, this was just in August, but like what are some of the ways that bringing him into your family has enriched your homemaking and maybe some challenge, maybe an example of a challenge that you guys are facing?

SPEAKER_00 23:05

Uh the enriching part, um it adds a level of purpose and in me of I want him to have home. I grew up without feeling that sense of home for different reasons, not the same situation that he was in. But making space and place for people is something that is really important to me because I didn't have it or didn't feel like I had it for so long. Um so while my husband is very appreciative of all the things that I do to make our home homey. Um doing it for somebody who's never had it, it gives a whole different level of appreciation. Because my husband grew up with a family that had its own issues and dysfunctions and things, but like he had home, he had place, he had those things. So he knows what that's like. But Brayden doesn't have, he's never had that until now. And so something that I pray is when he leaves, when he moves out after graduation or however long he's with us, that he's able to look back when he's older and say, like, this is where I felt home. This is where I felt accepted in family and those things that he just didn't have.

Allison 24:30

So yeah, yeah. Are you able to work towards teaching, or is it a goal maybe to work towards teaching him some some good life skills for keeping home? Yeah, he can do that on his own.

SPEAKER_00 24:41

Yeah. Um, he's had no structure. So adding him into homemaking, um the the next one about like how to encourage them to come in. Um if our home had lots of structure uh because we need it, but he has certain chores that he does on specific days and he does those really well. But if I were to just say, Hey, can you make sure to take out the trash and didn't add a day of the week to that, he wouldn't, he wouldn't think to do it. He just wouldn't, he wouldn't be able to. So like Tuesday is his laundry day. So I make sure that there's nothing in the washer, nothing in the dryer on Tuesday. So that way when I pick him up from school, he can just come home and put his laundry in. And laundry in our house means you wash it, dry it, fold, and put away all in the same day. So yeah.

Allison 25:40

Yeah, that's great. That's a really good skill to have. And he seems pretty receptive to to learning these skills and and um cooperating, not so much cooking.

SPEAKER_00 25:50

Um but but he'll do the dishes, he'll do his laundry, um, he keeps his room pretty clean. Uh sometimes I'm like, hey, that bottle's been there for a couple weeks. We'll just like, I don't know. Somebody reassured me that it's just a teenage boy thing, not like a him thing.

Allison 26:09

So that's very much a teenage boy thing. Well, just a teenage thing in general, um, unless you happen to be blessed with a neat freak. Um, but those are pretty rare breeds in my experience. Well, that's awesome. So it sounds like from how you just answered that question, and knowing that you work and your husband works outside the home. So when it comes to priorities, you do have some very practical um systems and things set in place to make sure that you guys are checking all the boxes when it comes to what matters and just running the household. So, what are some practical steps that you take to set and keep your priorities?

SPEAKER_00 26:50

So we uh I guess the best way to put it is when I start the day at the beginning of that day, I have to pick what's most important on this day. Um, so not only do I I work outside of our home, but it's a 35 minute drive. Um, and I start work at six o'clock in the morning. Um, so I'm up usually between four and four thirty in the morning. Um and so days start really early and typically go kind of late, not by choice, but just because they do. Um, but I'll run out of energy if I try to do all the stuff in a day. So if we have uh if we have a dinner that I cooked, the dishes are done, and and everybody was here for dinner, I feel like it was a a pretty good day. Um but we keep a joint calendar, my husband and I. So uh that is really helpful for us so that way we can see like what each person's doing um or where each person is going to be at that time. Because my husband, he does not have a consistent schedule. Um, he works in HVAC, so I don't know what know about trade jobs, um, but he starts at a time and he doesn't end until the job is done.

Allison 28:27

Job is done. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:28

So sometimes he's home at five, sometimes he's home at eight, sometimes on a really weird day, he'll be home at two. And it's like on those days, I'm like, what are you doing here? Why are you here?

Allison 28:40

I know sometimes that happens. Sometimes my husband comes home early and I'm like, wait, you've just totally thrown off my groove for the whole thing is all messed up now.

SPEAKER_00 28:52

I mean, I'm glad to see you and everything, but like I got stuff to do. Yeah, and then they want to talk to you, which like I'm glad you want to talk to me, but like I'm trying to do stuff.

Allison 29:02

So yeah, that's so funny. Um, what kind of calendar do you guys use? Do you use a like a Google calendar or something else?

SPEAKER_00 29:10

It's called Cozy or Kozai C O Z I. Um, and it's it's color coded and you can pay for it also. Like there's a free version and a paid version. Um, we use the free version because the paid version has too many things in it. Okay. Um, and it gets all it gets muddled up in my brain. Like, yeah, I need a calendar to be a calendar. I need I just need things to be one thing. If it's one thing in five things, I'm probably not gonna use it. And it's a character flaw in myself. Um, they do it to be helpful, but it's not helpful to me.

Allison 29:49

Um well, I think sometimes the apps get carried away with adding too many bells and whistles, or they try to make it into a social app. It's just weird. I'm like, no, I'm I agree with you. Like, I need a calendar to be a calendar. Like, do the function that you say that you're going to do. That's all I really need.

SPEAKER_00 30:06

I just need you to be what you say you are.

Allison 30:09

Exactly. And that's really good to know that you actually find better functionality from the free version rather than the platform version. So I'll make sure that I link that in the description box. Um, so speaking of social media, how do you do social media at all? Um and and just in general, what is what is your relationship with media in general?

SPEAKER_00 30:32

So I do Facebook and Pinterest. Um, but Facebook I use more as just like a place to keep pictures and stuff. Um, I know that that's I know that there are apps and there are things that do that, but I've had Facebook for a really long time. And so there's decades worth of just stuff that's on there, and I've never taken the time to get it off of there and put it somewhere else. And so here we are still using it. Um but I have for Facebook, I have a 30-minute um per day limit. So like I set that limit in my phone. And so after I reach 30 minutes, it will pop up like a little icon that says that you've run out of time for the day. And you can ignore that limit if you want to, or it'll just be done. Um, and I would say that 30 minutes is like, I don't usually run out of time, like that's more than enough time. And I feel like a lot of it, I'm not even scrolling to see like what people are posting. It's those stupid real videos of like craps or just random things. Like, why am I watching this video about what a lady found at a thrift store? I don't know, but I am. So um our Braden does have um a phone and he does go on online on there. But when we have free time, because we are so busy as a family, we try to do something together. Um, even if it's like watching an episode of a show that we have on DVD, because we don't have um we don't have like paid subscription services type of a thing. So we have a lot of DVDs, um, or we'll play games, like we've got a giant toy box in our dining room uh that you can just go in and people will get games. And um, my husband's siblings, when they come over, they'll just pull out games and randomly there'll be five people all playing a different game.

Allison 32:38

Yeah, yeah, cool. What's your what's a favorite that you guys like to play?

SPEAKER_00 32:42

We like to play Uno. However, Brayden is terrible at Uno. I don't know how someone can be so not good at Uno. Yeah. We also have one called um oh, what's it called? It's kind of like Tetris, but it's on like a tilting surface. Um, I don't remember what it's called, but that's another good one. Um and if it falls over on your turn, then you lose.

Allison 33:14

Oh, that sounds fun. That's fun. We uh we play Uno when our family, when all the kids are here and stuff, but they like to play spicy Uno. So it's Uno with like different rules. Oh well, it's the same rule. Okay, so it's the same basic idea of Uno, but they add like some extra rules that make it spicy, that make it like a little bit harder. And you know, there's like a rule for if the I can't even remember what they all are, but for example, if somebody lays down a seven, then you can nobody can talk until another until another seven gets laid down. And if you talk, you have to pick a card. And you know, there's like there's like unique rules for some of the wild cards and the reverse cards and stuff like that. So it's it's kind of fun. I'll see if I can find I'll get my um my son to give me the spicy Uno rules and I and I will post those for everybody.

SPEAKER_00 34:03

All right. I wrote it down. I'll have we'll have to pick one up.

Allison 34:07

Yeah. And I think I mean you can just play it with a regular Uno deck. I don't know if Uno makes like a spicy Uno version themselves, but you can do it with a regular deck, and you might could just Google spicy Uno rules and see what comes up. So Okay. Yes. Um, okay, let's move on to temptations and challenges. Which of these temptations have you struggled with the most and what is God teaching you through it? So, comparison to other women being just a homemaker, uh not getting paid, it's not a real job, or superwoman trying to do all the things.

SPEAKER_00 34:40

Okay, so I would think it's a combination in a weird way. Okay. I would say the biggest challenge is I want to do, I don't say yes to all the things. Okay, but the things I do say yes to, I want to do those things perfectly. Yeah. So, and it's again a comparison of reality versus the expectation. Um, so it's not necessarily comparison to other people, it's comparison to what my mind thinks should be happening or I should be able to accomplish because there's this amount of time. Why didn't you get that done? Like the questions, I read through them all, but I did not write answers down to them all because I kept telling myself, you have more time. You have more time. No, no, I didn't. It was a lie.

Allison 35:39

So yeah, yeah. Just thinking you you have more capacity than you do, maybe.

SPEAKER_00 35:46

Yes.

Allison 35:46

Oh, yes. Yeah. That's I think that's probably pretty common for a lot of us, but I like the way that you put that. Um, not so much compare comparing yourself to others, but comparing the comparison of reality reality versus expectation. I think that's really good. So, okay, good answer. Um, special challenges. So, besides taking on uh this 17-year-old foster son, what are what's another special challenge that you guys um have had to face?

SPEAKER_00 36:16

So when we very first got married, um so real right before we got married, my husband switched jobs. He went from working a factory job where he went in at this time and he got out at a certain time. And he was at my house for dinner every single day because we weren't married yet. Okay. The week of our wedding, he switched jobs and to this trades job. He worked for two days and then we went on our honeymoon and came back in the midst of their busy season. So we got married in May, uh, the beginning of May. And HVAC, for anyone who doesn't know, is heating and cooling. Well, May, June, July, August, even September in Ohio, it's really hot. So that's their busy season. And so he was gone a lot, like 70, 75 hours a week. Um, and that sounds impossible, but it was wild. So I did not feel like how I thought I was supposed to feel. Um, marriage didn't feel like how I thought that it was gonna feel. Um, it was really weird because I was now married, but I was more lonely as a married person than I was a single person. Um and I at that time we didn't have Brayden. Um, so I would work and then I would come home and I would sit on the couch until it was a reasonable time for me to start cooking dinner because he didn't have an out time. So it's it was kind of just like a guessing game. Now we do it a little bit better, and like at a certain time I start cooking dinner. But at that time, I was was like, all right, well, it's it's this time, I guess I'll start cooking dinner. And then I would just wait. Like I would just sit there and wait for him to come home and like not do anything. And as two people with just two cats, there's only so many things you can clean. Um, and like I'm not a baseboard cleaner in my, I don't care how much free time I have, I'm never just gonna spontaneously wash baseboards. Like, that's just not me. It's not gonna happen. But so it was probably six, six months of me just being really depressed in the beginning of our marriage. And it my husband came home one day and asked me, he's like, Do you like being married? Do you do you regret marrying me? And like that question really like was a wake-up call of you have to get it together. Like you have to. Um, it's not just affecting you, but it's affecting him. And now he thinks that you're disappointed in him and like all of these things. So I had to get it together. So I took it to the Lord. Um, and it's been a process, um, a big process of just working out why those expectations or why those things were so important. Does it make us any less of a married couple if we don't eat dinner at the same time every day? No, I had like I would say another weakness of mine would be like, I'm too idealistic. Like, ideally, we would eat dinner at the same time every day. I would know what we're having for dinner, all of those types of things. That's just not our, that's not real life for us. Um, and that expectation versus what we were actually doing, I had to just figure out like why was that so important? Um, and in some ways, I still don't really know why, but it bothers me less. And we're able, I'm able to enjoy our reality without having those expectations cloud it and take it away. And I thought that I was good, and then our parenting expectations were also just like ripped away, and then we had to refine and work through it all over again.

Allison 40:35

So man, man. I'm wondering if that idealism, particularly about, you know, this is what it's going to look like, and we're going to sit down and eat dinner together every night, you know, did that come, did that does that stem from the this deep desire you had for something that you didn't have growing up? Yeah. You know, that just makes sense to me. Like that would that's seems very logical that that's where that would come from. So so it sounds like the the Lord is helping you make peace with the fact that that's just not your reality right now.

SPEAKER_00 41:10

Yeah, and there's comparison is one of those things that's easy to fall into. Um, our church went through a wedding wave. So right before we got married, there was we we had probably six months between us and the prior wedding. But in 2022 and 2023, there was like seven weddings. And so there's a there's a lot of couples that are all about at the same same places. Um, and so it's it can be easy when you see other people's reality seeing what you thought reality was gonna be, and just feel like, well, God, why what did I do wrong? Or what are we doing wrong? But we didn't do anything wrong. It's just the different season that we're in. And had our season, had we been doing what I thought that we'd be doing, I don't know that we would have taken Braden, that that we would have been able to take him and have that capacity to do that.

Allison 42:16

So Yeah, yeah, that's an interesting perspective. Do you also wonder, do you think that your the way that you grew up has you has uniquely equipped you to deal with the way that what your reality is right now, with his hours just kind of being all over the place?

SPEAKER_00 42:33

I think so. Um, because my mom, she was a a good mom. She uh she worked two jobs to take care of us most of my childhood. She worked night shift, like she always provided in the physical, um, and we were taken care of in that way. Um, but no one person can do it all. And so we definitely, my sister and I, I would say lacked in that emotional sense of home. Um, and so I think through healing, like through prayer and God being able to come in and do a lot of that, you can look at it without you can look at it and see like the light part of it. Like this not ideal situation taught me A, B, C, D.

Allison 43:23

Yeah, yeah. So yeah, that situation growing up, which was not ideal, um, it but it helped prepare you for what you're what you're dealing with now. Yeah. Even though there was disappointment in that, because that's not what you wanted.

SPEAKER_00 43:38

So the Lord, I will say to you, God will always provide. Um, so where where my family life growing up lacked as a child, He provided my pastor and his family as in a different season of my life, but they filled a lot of those roles and a lot of those. Places and voids and things. And so whoever there's a lacking with, as long as you try to keep the right attitude and the right perspective, God will send somebody to fill some of those relational voids that are there.

Allison 44:18

So oh, absolutely. Yeah. We just need to be paying attention.

SPEAKER_00 44:23

Yes. And open and not afraid to let people in.

Allison 44:28

Yeah, absolutely. That's a good word. Okay, well, let's talk about um hospitality for a minute. What is a practical way that you like to show hospitality in your homemaking?

SPEAKER_00 44:39

So we host our um, our church calls them link groups, but it's basically home fellowship groups. Um, and they're based primarily off of location. So anybody who goes to the church that lives in our area, they would come to our link group. Um, but so we host that once a month. Um, and Braden will help like with setting the table or like picking the music or whatever. Like he helps with that. Um, but so typically for that, there's a theme for the food. Um, I just find that it helps, it helps make sure that everything's covered and it's easier and you don't end up with 20 bags of chips. Um but so we do that. And then I also try once a month to invite um friends, like a friend couple or uh Braden will we've asked him if he's wanted to invite people over, but at least once a month we try to have somebody over for dinner. Um games and whatever else.

Allison 45:42

So awesome. When you do your um your group, your link group, is that is it like a potluck? Yes, yeah. Okay, okay, so it's helpful to have a theme to tell everybody, hey, you know, we're doing Mexican this month. Yeah, or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 45:59

So we'll typically provide like the meat or the main and all of the like cups and plates and napkins, like all of the paper products, so that way people are actually bringing a food item and not volunteering to bring a package of napkins.

Allison 46:16

Yeah, yeah. Like bring a side dish, please.

unknown 46:19

Yeah. Yeah.

Allison 46:22

What's your best tip for that? Like, do you guys do a sign up, like a group me or something like that, so that every so you don't get duplicates, or you guys your group won't be too big for that?

SPEAKER_00 46:32

I'll send out um a group message, like a group text, um and say, like, this is the theme, this is what we're providing. Here are some suggestions of what you could do. Oh, that's good. Um, if you wanted to bring something in theme. And I always let them know, like, if if you can't bring something that matches the theme, that's perfectly fine. Please just bring something. Um but so then in that text thread, people will say, like, I'm gonna bring this side or this drink or this dessert. So then there's not a not doubles. Um, that text thread does change occasionally because new people will start coming and they'll come into the group and those types of things. So it is something that it's not difficult to manage, but like it's a thing to manage, um, if that makes sense.

Allison 47:24

Yeah, yeah. We do something similar um for our small group. We and but we have found that it's a little bit easier to do it on um something like WhatsApp or Group Me because it's easier to change the text group. If because like if you do it on your, you know, on your iPhone or your Android and you do like a messaging group, if somebody wants to be added or at least this works, it works this way in iPhone. You have to like start a whole nother group in order to do that. So that's kind of a pain. Yes. Um, but yeah, I love the I love the messaging function for coordinating that kind of thing. So and I love your suggestion of giving them a list of options that would be appropriate because some people are like, I don't have the brain space to come up with something, just tell me what to do.

SPEAKER_00 48:07

Yes, tell me what to bring. I'm one of those people a lot of the time. I'm like, I need you to give me very specific directions here.

Allison 48:15

Yeah, yeah. That's good. That's be a helpful hostess, help your guests out. Um, okay, so rapid fire. I'm gonna ask you some questions related to homemaking tasks. You ready? Yeah, okay. What's your biggest homemaking fail so far?

SPEAKER_00 48:32

Okay. When we first got married, I managed to shrink all of my husband's undershirts. And like that doesn't sound like an accomplishment, but we have church three times a week. And so that's a lot of undershirts. And the problem was I had this again ideal of taking laundry out of the dryer hot. So if I would go to the dryer and it wasn't hot, I would just turn it back on just run it again for 20 minutes. Well, our time my time at home is really broken up, and so I could start that 20 minutes and have to leave and then come back, and then I'd restart the dryer again and manage to shrink every undershirt that he owned. Um, and so thank God for Amazon, and I was able to look up not a hundred percent cotton. Um some like mixture cotton and something else, but it doesn't shrink, and so it can be in the dryer as much as I need it to. Yes. Yeah, I would say that's the biggest one. That's a good one.

Allison 49:47

Okay, a recent homemaking win.

SPEAKER_00 49:51

Um I would say just adding our unexpected braiden into our home and having it go pretty seamlessly. Um nothing that big goes without its issues, but I would say that it's gone really smoothly. So I would say that that's a win.

Allison 50:13

That's a huge win. Yeah, that's that's amazing. All right, a homemaking product or resource that you are loving right now.

SPEAKER_00 50:21

It would have to be the calendar, um, the calendar app, the Kozai app. Um, just because it's so practical and it's we use it all the time. Um you can set reminders on it, like the paid function, you can set more than one reminder, but I we just don't pay for it because we just don't.

Allison 50:46

Okay. Does it have a limit as far as how many people can share the calendar?

SPEAKER_00 50:51

No. So if anybody that has the um the family code. So you when you log in, um when you create your account, it asks like if you already have a family code. And if you if you do, so like my husband, he would put in our family code and then it would open up and show the calendar.

Allison 51:12

Okay, awesome. And then and then he can add stuff to it. Yeah, same, same with Braden.

SPEAKER_00 51:18

Yes, and it's color-coded. So like I'm a teal color, Matthew. Um, there's an all function. So like if we're all supposed to be there, that's orange, uh, Matthew's red, and Braden's green.

Allison 51:28

Okay, that's great. That sounds very functional and easy to use. Um, okay, favorite homemaking hack or tip?

SPEAKER_00 51:36

It's gonna sound too practical, but just having a schedule, even if you can't follow it, like so. I have our like a cleaning schedule, and I say that very loosely because it almost never happens that way for the whole I know.

Allison 51:54

But I know in my mind, you aspire, you aspire to it though, yes, and so that's the thing.

SPEAKER_00 52:00

Like, if you mop the kitchen floor on Monday, but then you don't get the opportunity to mop it on Friday, and you mop it next Friday, it really hasn't been that long. That's right, because you still did it on Monday, like yeah, just having some system to follow when you can follow it. Um whatever that system is. And I think for me, sometimes I get overwhelmed by creating the system. And so then it's just like, I don't know what we're gonna do. So we're just gonna clean this because it's visibly dirty. Right, right. Yeah.

Allison 52:43

Yeah, having a system of like a rotation, and it doesn't have to be complicated, you know, just hit the basics, like hit the the real trouble spots, you know, in in your home on a regular rotating basis. If you've got that set up, and just like you said, if you miss it on Thursday, if that's your day to vacuum the living room, that's okay because you know next Thursday you're gonna it's gonna come back around. Yep. And you've got to get it next Thursday. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, that's a good tip. All right, how about do you have a signature dish yet?

SPEAKER_00 53:18

I wouldn't say it's a dish, but I have a signature flavor. Okay. Anything lemon blueberry. Oh I make lots of desserts that are lemon blueberry.

Allison 53:31

Yummy. So it started with cheesecake. Okay, I was gonna say, give me an example. Cheesecake.

SPEAKER_00 53:36

Yeah, so it started with cheesecake. A couple years ago, I wanted to make a difficult dessert. I wanted to challenge myself. So I started making baked cheesecakes. Um, well, then my husband and I started putting on a lot of weight because I was making so many cheesecakes that he had to tell me he's like, either you stop making cheesecakes or I need to buy me pants. And I was like, Oh, well, we don't have money to buy me pants, so I guess I'll stop making cheesecakes.

Allison 54:06

That's awesome. Well, maybe I can get a couple, like, are these link are these recipes that you're finding online that you're making?

SPEAKER_00 54:14

Uh, some of them started out like I have a based cheesecake recipe that I found online, and then I'll just like modify it.

Allison 54:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:22

But okay.

Allison 54:22

But I can send over Yeah, like some of your favorite lemon blueberry recipes that you have found, maybe a few of your favorites, and we can link those. Great. Um, okay, let's talk about the art of home. So, how do you see homemaking as an art and where do you find beauty in it?

SPEAKER_00 54:41

I think it's an art because it's unique to each person. Um, each homemaker has their own style and that will show in through their homemaking. Um, I have friends and ladies that I know that they would also call themselves homemakers, and the way that they run their home is not the same way that I do, but their home runs smoothly, and our home runs smoothly, and so it's unique to each person and like the interests and the the different areas of personality come out through your homemaking and the things that you do. And I heard it said once that um homemaking or hospitality, when people come into your home, they shouldn't leave with a better view of you, they should leave with a better view of themselves. The way that you do homemaking should be so the people that you're doing it for feel good when they leave.

Allison 55:52

Yeah. Yeah, that's a really good perspective to have. You I mean, we talk about that on the show, about it's the tagline is um we're exploring how homemakers cultivate a place to belong. And it really is, it's about um serving others. That's kind of the whole foundation of homemaking. And so that's a great way to think about it. Um what's one thing that you're thankful for about homemaking?

SPEAKER_00 56:24

That I get to do it, um, and that my husband appreciates it. Um, because I know not everybody's spouse does, but he truly appreciates it and is he's more of a word person. I'm I'm not, but he is definitely a words of affirmation is his love language, and that's what he needs. He just does. And so that he thinks that that's everybody's love language. So he gives lots of words of affirmation. And sometimes, like in those those weeks that just nothing seems to go right, those words of affirmation from him or things that he said in the past truly help. Like one day he told me that our house has Christmas magic because of bees. And like it's such a simple sentence, but like it was the probably one of the best compliments that he's given me. And like, I don't think he realized just like what that meant, but just that he values what I value in home.

Allison 57:25

Um, absolutely. That's wonderful. Okay, let's talk to the other ladies before we close here. First, we'll start with the older ladies. What is something that you would like the older generation to know about your generation's experience as a homemaker? What can they do to come alongside and help you guys?

SPEAKER_00 57:47

I think it's important to not just be self-aware, but to be like audience aware. Um I think sometimes people think that they don't have anything to offer because the resources available now are significantly different than the resources that were available for women that are now older women. Um what's available to me now or what's considered socially acceptable now is completely different than what it was for them. And I think sometimes they look at it in a way of, well, that wasn't my experience, so I don't have anything to offer. But marriage is universal, it's been around from the beginning of time. You can offer me some nugget of wisdom that you've acquired because marriage is universal. Not that every marriage is exactly the same, but every marriage faces some of the same issues just because we're all people. Um, and the Bible even says like human nature hasn't changed. So something that you've experienced can be helpful and just being aware that there's something there that can be given, and knowing that like we don't have all the answers just because we have Google and AI generated responses, most of those aren't helpful. Right. Like they're really just not. Yeah. Um, you are a real person that has real experience, yes, and your real experience needs more, even if it's not exactly my experience, like what I'm going through, your real experience of you made it through whatever you went through or whatever struggle or whatever parenting issue, you really did it. You're not AI, you're not a fake thing that somebody told you to say this. So yeah.

Allison 1:00:01

I you know, Jasmine, I've been doing this now for almost five years, and it's amazing to me how this is how AI is now a part of this the answer to this question. I'm like, oh, we have where this is where we've ended up, really, you know. Yeah, it's just amazing. But that's a great answer to that question. Yeah, AI is can be help a helpful tool, um, but it's not the same as having somebody who has lived it um and lived to tell, lived to tell about how they survived. Um, so that's great. Okay, what about the younger ladies? What's a word of advice that you would give those coming behind you?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:44

Um pray against your expectations and don't be too don't have too much pride to say that what you're doing isn't working. Um, so for us, I was waiting for my husband to get home to have dinner. And once we added Braden into our family, it really irritated me that like we were just waiting, like the food was done, everything's ready. And where is my husband? Not here. And so I would just be so irritated, irritated. And when he would get home, we ate dinner together, but I was not the most pleasant to like he probably didn't want to be eating dinner with me at that point. Yeah, no. Well, so I was speaking to my pastor's wife because he uh my our pastor has his pastor, he's very busy, he's a guy, he's inconsistent schedule, different specifics, but she can relate and understand where I'm coming from. And so I was explaining it to her, and she told me that years ago she started doing it where her and her boys she would check with her with her husband, like where he was around dinner time. And if he wasn't gonna be there, they would have dinner without him. And then when he got home, she would sit with him while he ate dinner and talk to him then. And so initially I was like, no, we have to eat dinner together. We have to. Well, yeah, I wasn't good company, so I figured what we were doing wasn't working, so I might as well try something else. And so we've started doing that, and it's much more productive and healthy for our home for Braden and I just to eat dinner without my husband, and then when he comes home, I will sit with him and we'll eat dinner or he'll eat dinner and we'll talk, and it goes so much better. But if we're too prideful to say, like, this isn't working, then we'd still be having bad company at dinner.

Allison 1:02:49

Yeah. No, that's good. That's good. So pray, pray against your expectations and don't be too prideful to say this is not working and and pivot, do something different.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:00

Yeah. Um, there's like a gentleman in our church, he was in some branch of the military, and anytime something doesn't go as he as it's supposed to, he's like, improvise, adapt, overcome, improvise, adapt, overcome. And like he'll just say it. And I guess it's the the motto or the theme of whatever branch he was in. But that goes through my mind sometimes. Improvise, adapt, overcome.

Allison 1:03:23

I love that. That goes right. We have another military theme that I say all the time on the show, and that's the it's um, it's I think it's Marines, it's simper gumby, so always flexible. But I'm gonna have to add that one. Improvise. Wait, what was it? Improvise, adapt? Improvise, adapt, overcome. Improvise, adapt, overcome. All right, you hear that, ladies? Improvise, adapt, overcome, and simper gumby. Jasmine, thank you so much for being here and sharing your story of home, your very unique story of home. I had loved hearing all about it. Well, thank you. I had a good time. I'm so glad. Thank you for listening to this homemaker portrait of Jasmine Wyland. I pray that you are encouraged and inspired, and that you were able to grab on to one or two truths or ideas from this conversation that you can apply right away in your own homemaking. Thank you again to Jasmine for sharing her story with us. I loved so much of this conversation. It's hard to pick a favorite takeaway, but expectations came up so much in this conversation that I think I must choose a takeaway from that. Jasmine had a lot of expectations going into her marriage. And when her idealistic hopes were dashed, it really affected her attitude, so much so that her husband thought that she had regretted marrying him. In that moment, Jasmine realized how much her expectations and her attitude can color the atmosphere of her home. She knew that God was asking her to lay those idealistic expectations down and dig into why those things mattered so much to her. Why did she have those expectations in the first place? And what was God teaching her about trusting Him? Maybe you have unmet expectations in your marriage, parenting, or homemaking. And the Lord is asking you to dig up the root of those expectations so that in laying them down, you can unearth the treasure of trusting the Lord and loving the life you have right now. So let's make the emoji for this episode a shovel.

unknown 1:05:42

Okay.

Allison 1:05:42

And let's get to digging, ladies. Drop a shovel in a comment, an email, or in a text, and let me know what homemaking expectation you and the Lord are digging up right now. Don't forget to tell me your name if you text me. And thank you for listening. The way to the end. If you have found value in this episode, please share it with a friend, leave a review, and if you are so moved, leave a tip or become a Titus 2 monthly supporter over at buymeacoffee.com/slash theartofome. Don't forget to fill out a mother-in-law-daughter-in-law survey and sign up for prayer and progress updates for the magazine. Links for both are down in the show notes. Also, links for resources mentioned in Jasmine's interview will be on the blog in the full show note post very soon. And that includes Jasmine's recipe for blueberry lemon bars. Go to the Artof Home Podcast.com slash blog and search Jasmine Weyland. That's W-Y-L-A-N-D. That's all for this episode. I will be back on Monday with new Monday Motivation and next Wednesday with the final homemaker portrait of this season. Until then, keep practicing your art of making a home.